Hi Friends,
“Connection is a muscle,” says Allison Gilbert, author of The Joy of Connections, on this week’s podcast. I’ve known Allison since we were four years old, making mischief in the sandbox together, which we still do 50 years later. Allison’s co-author is the late Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a Holocaust survivor whose famous radio talk show, “Sexually Speaking,” took the stigma out of talking about sex and intimacy.
Of course, now we know that a healthy sex life is good for longevity, too!
Relationships, in fact, are the largest predictor of longevity. Their value for health is astonishing. A massive PLOS Medicine review found that people with strong social ties live up to 50% longer than those who are isolated—about the same benefit as quitting smoking or maintaining a healthy weight.
Here’s to a restful and social weekend,
Rachel
Speaking of new friends…don’t forget to get your tickets for The Livelong Women’s Health Summit, April 17–18 at The Masonic in San Francisco. Two days. Seventy-five thought leaders. Zero snake oil.
Discover what it means to thrive in every decade
Get $50 off early-bird tickets with code RACHEL.
Spotlight
The Joy of Connection — Allison Gilbert on Why Friendship is the Hidden Key to Longevity
“We talk so much about food, fitness, and sleep,” says Emmy Award–winning journalist and author Allison Gilbert, “but the real predictor of a long, healthy life is our relationships.” Gilbert’s latest book, The Joy of Connections, argues that social health is as vital as physical or mental health—the science agrees.
In 2023, the World Health Organization called loneliness a “global epidemic,” estimating that more than 870,000 people die prematurely each year from social isolation. “When we invest in relationships,” Gilbert explains, “we literally lower inflammation in the body. Being disconnected can take as many years off your life as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
Her work translates that data into everyday practices: small, consistent acts that strengthen belonging and purpose. “You don’t have to overhaul your social life overnight,” she says. “Connection is like exercise—it takes mindful consistency.”
Whether that means texting a friend first or asking more questions, Gilbert’s approach reframes connection as an intentional habit, the social equivalent of strength training.
“The tailwind that pushes you out the door,” she says, “has to become stronger than the headwind that keeps you on the couch.”
Allison’s Three Principles for Connection and Longevity
1. Connection is a daily practice, not a personality trait.
Just like exercise or diet, social health requires consistency. Allison explains that our brains crave familiar patterns as we age, which can make change uncomfortable—but that’s exactly why we need to practice connection.
2. Depth matters more than breadth.
In an era of digital saturation, Gilbert reminds us that “quantity of friends has nothing to do with quality.” She compares shallow online interactions to junk food—filling but not nourishing.
3. Small gestures build lifelong bonds.
Gilbert’s most enduring advice is to turn connection into an intentional ritual.
“It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being consistent.”
You will live longer if you are needed, if you are appreciated, if you are in community with others who rely on you.” — Allison Gilbert
Want to start improving your connections? We welcome you to join the Livelong Woman WhatsApp group — a safe, uplifting space to share stories, swap advice, and build real community.
How do you improve your connections?
4 Questions
Q: Why does connection matter?
A: The Harvard Study of Adult Development found the number one predictor of longevity isn’t fitness or wealth—it’s relationships. When we nurture connection, we lower anxiety, depression, and cardiovascular risk. We’re literally extending our healthspan.
Q: What’s the biggest barrier to connection today?
A: We’ve forgotten how to make and maintain friendships. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy says we can’t take those skills for granted anymore. Convenience and screens have replaced practice. We have to relearn how to reach out, listen, and follow through.
Q: What’s one thing we can do right now to feel more connected?
A: Don’t wait for someone to text first. Research shows we underestimate how much others appreciate hearing from us. Be the owner of your social life—send the message, make the plan.
Q: What simple habit builds lasting connections?
A: Dr. Ruth ended her radio show, ‘When will I see you again?’ It’s a great approach because it signals care and intention. It’s uncomfortable at first—but it’s a beautiful way to show someone they matter.
This week’s must-reads in longevity
Big Shift in Hormone Therapy: U.S. Food & Drug Administration Removes “Black Box” Warning
Did you know that only 5% of women in perimenopause and menopause in the US are on hormone replacement therapy (HRT)?
It’s a long story I wrote about on Livelong.
The good news is that this week, the FDA announced the removal of the strongest safety warning—the so-called “black box” label—from most hormone replacement therapy (HRT) products used during menopause. For years, the black box warning discouraged many women — and their physicians — from using HRT, even in cases where symptoms were severe or quality of life was impaired.
What’s changing:
The label revisions will remove references to cardiovascular disease, breast cancer, and dementia among HRT products.
One important exception: systemic estrogen-alone therapies for women with a uterus will still carry a boxed warning about endometrial cancer risk.
The FDA emphasises that the best outcomes appear when HRT is initiated within 10 years of menopause onset or before age 60.
Does Stress Really Cause a Brain Aneurysm?
When Kim Kardashian said that stress caused her brain aneurysm, headlines exploded. The science tells a more nuanced story. While stress doesn’t cause aneurysms, chronic stress can weaken blood vessels and alter brain chemistry over time. High cortisol, disrupted sleep, and constant “fight or flight” states erode the brain’s protective barriers and accelerate aging.
Is Your Wealth Your Health?
A new study from the National Council on Aging and UMass Boston reveals a striking truth: women in the top 10% of earners live, on average, nine years longer than those in lower-income brackets. Income, geography, and policy all shape health outcomes. So does access and advocacy. Women in states with paid leave, expanded healthcare, and reproductive rights protections not only live longer but experience more healthy years of life.
Kindness isn’t numeric.
It’s not about how many good deeds you do, but the intention behind them. Genuine generosity lights up the brain’s reward center, lowers stress, and lifts mood — all of which nurture mental and physical longevity. Studies show that people who practice daily kindness have lower blood pressure, less inflammation, and even longer lives.
Poll Response
We asked, you answered:
How do you find consistency?
Almost half of you said exercise.
Me too. I swim almost every day to clear my head and recenter.
Thanks for reading!
The information provided about wellness and health is for general informational and educational purposes only. We are not licensed medical professionals, and the content here should not be considered medical advice. Talk to a doctor before trying any of these suggestions.
